3 min read
If you're feeling the pressure of supporting both aging parents and growing children, you're part of what’s called the Sandwich Generation. This group—made up mostly of adults in their 40s, 50s, and early 60s—is growing every year. It includes people who are raising children or helping them launch into adulthood while also caring for older parents or other family members who need increasing levels of support. Balancing these responsibilities is challenging, both emotionally and financially. But with some planning, it’s possible to care for the people you love without sacrificing your own financial future. Let's look at what you can do now to ease the financial and emotional load.
What It Means to Be in the Sandwich Generation 
This stage of life often hits during peak career years—just when you should be focusing on your future. Instead, you’re pulled in two directions. According to Pew Research, more than half of Americans in their 40s are most likely to be providing financial support to both a parent and a child. And the trend is growing as lifespans extend and young adults take longer to become financially independent.
Every year, more members of both Generation X (born between 1965 and 1980) and Millennials (born between 1981 and 1996) are joining this club. Whether you arrived here gradually or suddenly, it’s not just a financial role—it’s emotional, too.
Understanding the Financial Pressures
Many people in this situation are also at the peak of their careers and trying to save for retirement—sometimes while also managing college tuition or helping adult children reestablish themselves financially.
This financial "squeeze" can feel overwhelming. But you can take steps to regain control and reduce stress over time.
Start by Talking With Your Parents
One of the most important—and often most difficult—steps is to have honest conversations with your parents about their finances. This doesn’t mean taking control. It means understanding what resources they have, what expenses they face, and what plans they’ve already made.
Key areas to cover include:
- Monthly income (Social Security, pensions, retirement savings)
- Health insurance and medical expenses
- Long-term care plans or insurance
- Debt and regular household bills
- Any digital accounts (banking, utilities, etc.)
It’s also helpful to review legal documents:
- A durable power of attorney for both finances and healthcare
- A living will or advance directive
- Current wills and trusts
- Updated beneficiary designations on insurance and retirement accounts
These conversations can be emotional, especially if roles within the family are shifting. Scheduling a family meeting on finances may be a good idea. Clear information is essential for making good decisions during times of crisis or decline.
Set Boundaries When Helping Children
Many parents in the sandwich generation are also supporting adult children—helping with tuition, housing, or early career transitions. While it’s natural to want to help, it’s important to be realistic about what’s financially sustainable.
Here are some strategies to consider:
- Prioritize retirement savings. Borrowing for retirement isn’t an option—unlike college, which may offer loans, scholarships, or part-time work.
- Discuss expectations openly. If an adult child moves back home, talk early about shared responsibilities, expenses, and plans for the future.
- Encourage independence to support your child's efforts to manage their own money, build credit, and plan for the long term.
Helping your adult children develop strong financial habits may be more valuable than short-term financial support.
Make Time for Your Own Financial Planning
When you’re managing other people’s needs, it’s easy to neglect your own. But this is a critical time to stay focused on your long-term goals. Take the time to:
- Review your retirement savings strategy
- Reevaluate your insurance coverage, including disability and life insurance
- Update your own estate planning documents
- Consider how your financial responsibilities might shift in the next five to ten years
If you haven’t already, now may be a good time to prepare your financial health checkup and update your household budget to reflect your current reality—including any caregiving expenses, tuition support, or increased housing costs from adult children living at home.
Resources to Explore
Several tools and programs can help families in this stage:
- Benefits.gov: Offers eligibility information for hundreds of assistance programs.
- Eldercare Locator: Connects you to local services for aging adults, including transportation, meals, and caregiver support.
- Consumer Financial Protection Bureau: Offers educational tools for managing money at every life stage, including caregiving and planning for retirement.
- Aging Life Care Association (formerly National Association of Geriatric Care Managers): Aging Life Care Managers® help older adults navigate the challenges of aging and make positive, informed decisions and plans.
- What is a Daily Money Manager? Daily Money Managers deliver essential personal financial services to older adults, people with disabilities, and busy professionals.
Final Thoughts
Being part of the sandwich generation is hard. There’s no perfect solution for how to balance the needs of your parents, your children, and yourself. But with open communication and steady planning, it’s possible to move through this stage with less stress and greater clarity.
Take it one step at a time—and remember to check in on your own needs, too.
Christina Ubl, CFP® CDFA™ of Clute Wealth Management in South Burlington, VT and Plattsburgh, NY, an independent firm that provides strategic financial planning for individuals and small businesses in the Lake Champlain Valley region. Securities and advisory services offered through LPL Financial, a registered investment advisor, Member FINRA SIPC.